EPILEPSY AS A PSYCHO-SOCIAL DISEASE: ATTITUDES OF BROTHERS AND SISTER
SSibling love, as well as sibling rivalry, is normal. The reaction of your child’s brother or sister to a sibling with epilepsy will depend on age and developmental stage, but most of all on your reaction to epilepsy and to your children.All children fantasize, and it is not uncommon for a sibling to believe that he caused his brother’s seizures by playing roughly or pushing and causing his brother to fall. Children often wish for things to happen to their brother or sister. If something happens, then guilt is a common response. These feelings may be compounded by jealousy because you are giving too much attention to the child who has seizures. Brothers or sisters may show these feelings by “acting out,” by withdrawing, or by signs of depression, any of which may affect school performance and sleep patterns.Children often believe also that epilepsy, like measles, is contagious and that they might catch it, too. This fear should be discussed openly within the family.Your other children may be drawn into a pattern of overprotection or overindulgence. Either you or they may say, “Don’t play so roughly, you might bring on a seizure.” “Don’t let him get so excited.” “Give him the toy, or he’ll get upset and have a seizure.” Such statements give enormous leverage to your child to manipulate his environment.Most of these problems can be avoided by your sensitivity to the effects of your child’s epilepsy on his brothers and sisters and openness and honesty about your own feelings about the epilepsy and your continued love for all of your children. It is important that you initiate discussions with your other children and that no matter how time-consuming and preoccupying your child’s seizure problems may be, you find some time to spend individually with the others, talking and doing something special with them and for them.Studies have shown that, while there is always an impact on siblings whose brother or sister has a disability, if handled appropriately, that impact is positive. Brothers and sisters can become stronger, more sympathetic, more empathetic, and more caring adults.*214\208\8*
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